HOW SMALL THINGS CAN BECOME BIG...ITS TWO WAY OF SEEING THINGS AND THINKING...VIBHA

RECENTLY I HAVE BEEN TO FEW PLACES TO OBSERVE THE MOMENTUM AND PEOPLE'S REACTIONS.

I WOULD LIKE TO WRITE ABOUT IT.

USUALLY IT HAPPENED EARLIER ALSO,

WHEN I WAS "ASKED HOW I KNOW IT"?

I DO WATCH TV,SEE NEWSPAPERS

SO IF PUBLICISED EVENTS/RALLIES IS KNOWN TO ME VIA TV OR OTHER SOURCES,ITS NOT STRANGE BUT HOW OTHERS KNOW ME "THAT IS STRANGE" OR MAYBE PEOPLE DO KNOW OTHERS STRANGERS AS WELL.

I HAVE BEEN TO RAMLEELA MAIDAAN ON 30JAN 2011(my b'day'1965-before going there i HAD a chat on phone with my both sisters...they wished me.before going anywhere what one discuss at home or one the way...do have impact on people who are recieving you or you are going to meet...but i am sure with Sudhirji and aditi's co operation i'll able to create a conducive and congenial atmosphere in future..vibha).......SOME HOW I FELT WHAT PEOPLE ARE DISCUSSING WAS BIT ZIBBRISH...BUT INTERESTING,WELL SPIRITED....JAN LOKPAL BILL.

FEW LINES ABOUT IT I HAVE WRITTEN THAT DAY!!...THEY ARE WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO COMEOUT AND SPEAK..SOME "BHARAT MATA"!!!

BOLNE KO TOOOO....THEY,WE,ME..ANYONE CAN SPEAK IF NEEDED....AND IF INVITED OR BY CREATING ONE'S OWN PLATFORM!!

AS SOMEONE(SUDHIRJI) TOLD ME "EITHER YOU DON'T LET PEOPLE PRAISE YOU OR YOU FEEL YOU ARE NOT PRAISEWORTHY....???

WELL HUMBLENESS SHOULDN'T BE TAKEN AS WEAKNESS!!!"

WELL I THINK "BOOND-BOOND SE SAMUDRA BHARTA HAI"-IF MY WRITING HAS ANY EFFECT THEN I AM SURE I'LL BE ABLE TO CREATE A MOMENTUM IN POSITIVE WAY WITH SIDELINING NEGATIVE COMMENTS OF NEARONE'S(at home-of both sides or of friends) OR OUTSIDERS TODAY ONWARDS!!...AND WITH EVERYONE'S SUPPORT AND HELP. BUT BEFORE THAT SOME SERIOUS TALK!!....I DON'T THINK I GO FOR PUBLIC MEETINGS MUCH,NEITHER MY BLOG HAS TOO MANY FOLLOWERS,NEITHER I TALK TO ANYONE ON PHONE MUCH, SO HOW ANYONE COME TOOO KNOW ABOUT IT??? HOW YOU ALL KNOW WHERE I GO OR SIT AT HOME...OR WHATEVER I READ OR WRITE???

WE/I DO GET MANY INVITATIONS BUT USUALLY DON'T GO EVERYWHERE...!!

IT SHOULDN'T BE TAKEN AS DESPARATION IF ONE AGREE AND TAKE DECISIONS TO WORK ON SOME PROJECT OR WITH SOME PERSON QUICKLY...MAYBE THAT ONE HAS DONE SOME KHOJBINN BEFORE TALKING OR AGREEING TO WORK WITH YOU.!!!

BUT FOR NGO'S WORK I STARTED INTERACTING WITH PEOPLE AND MEETING THEM OCCASSIONALY IN BETWEEN,AS TILL NOW REIKI AND GROUND WORK/PAPERWORK IS GOING ON!!...BUT AS BACKLOG WAS THERE...IT NEEDED TIME TO CLEAR OFF ATMOSPHERE FIRST!!!

I KNOW PEOPLE WHO SAY DO I SPEAK TRUTH???...BUT HOW MUCH TRUTH THEY SPEAK THEY KNOW IN THEIR OWN HEART...I WON'T DISCLOSED!!!

....WHEN RECENTLY I THOUGHT SHOULD GO FOR A DAY LONG WORKSHOP CONDUCTED BY AN NGO-KABIR IN AMEITY UNIVERSITY...IT WAS A THOUGHT ...TO BE THERE AS AN OBSERVER AND THEN DECIDE WHETHER ADITIFOUNDATION CAN WORK WITH ITS RURAL DEVOLOPMENT/MANAGEMENT SECTION IN ANY INITIATIVE ...

"AS I FEEL THIS SECTION OF OUR COUNTRY NEED TO BE EMPHASISED..SO GOOD TO START WITH IT!!...AND IT NEED TO BECOME INDEPENDENT SO THAT URBAN DON'T FEEL OVER BURDENED BY RURAL POPULATIONS RUNNING FLOW TO URBAN AREAS".... AND ALSO THAT THEY BECOME "SELF RELIANT AND SELF-SUSTAINABLE...AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE"...."OUR THEORY OF 3P'S....IT APPLIES ON EVERY INDIVIDUAL".

AS SOMEONE KNOWN TO ME,STUDYING THERE SUGGESTED ME,I SHOULD CONTACT A GIRL IN KABIR GROUP,...I DID AND REQUESTED THAT, CAN I COME THERE AS AN OBSERVER.SHE ASKED ME HOW I KNEW ABOUT IT. I JUST SAID...I KNOW.

SHE MENTIONED THIS TO AMEITY'S RURAL MANAGEMENT DEPARTMENT.SO THERE DIRECTOR SAHEB CALLED ME UP AND ASKED ME IF I WANT TO SPEAK...I JUST SAID OK.BUT MY INTENTION WAS NOT TO HIJACK ANYONE'S PLATFORM THAT DAY,...AS THEIR WORKSHOP WAS PREDECIDED.
(THOUGH I HAS KNOWLEDGE ABOUT RTI,AND I WENT THERE AFTER READING ABOUT BOTH GROUP-KABIR AND AMEITY RURAL MANAGEMENT DEPARTMENT'S WEBSITE)

MAYBE MY MOVE WAS CORRECT OR NOT BUT I ASKED THEM WHY THEY WANT ME TO SPEAK..WITHOUT KNOWING ME ???AS I WAS GOING THERE JUST TO KNOW ABOUT AND THE PROCESS(AND NOT LEAVING HOME TO GET A PLATFORM FOREVER???...THIS IS HOW FICTION IS EFFECTING LIFE AND NOT LETTING IT NORMAL).AND DISCUSS WITH THESE GROUPS.AND LISTEN TO THEM.BUT WHEN THEIR JUNIOR LECTURER-MANASI TOLD ME WE ARE INVITING YOU AS A GUEST AND A SPEAKER,I WAS AMAZED.HOW DO THEY KNOW ME???)

AS TILL THEN I DIDN'T MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT ME EXCEPT-MY NAME AND ADITIFOUNDATION,WHICH IS NOT A VERY ESTABLISH NGO STILL.SO I ASKED HER,"WHY BECOZ WE ARE ASHOKJI'S(AMEITY'S OWNER) FRIEND?? I THOUGHT THEY MAY KNOW ME AS MRS SUDHIR TAILANG SOME HOW!!...AS I HAVE BEEN TO THAT PLACE YEARS BACK AS CHEIF GUEST TO GIVE PRIZE IN ANNUAL DAY FUNCTION BESIDES IN THEIR FAMILY MARRIAGES AND MET THEM OCCASIONALY HERE AND THERE IN SOME PARTY/FUNCTIONS/GATHERINGS...SUDHIRJI IS THEIR REGULAR FACULTY VISITOR.

WELL,I ASKED FOR WRITTEN LETTER WHICH I GOT AT 9.30 IN THE MORNING,AND THEN I LEFT FOR NOIDA AND OBVIOUSLY REACHED THERE BIT LATE.FEW PEOPLE WERE ON GATE SAYING FOR SOME WORK THEY CAME THIS SIDE SO CAN GUIDE ME TO CONFERENCE ROOM AS THEY'RE ALSO ATTENDING IT.BUT MY QUESTION MUST HAVE PERPLEXED THEM.THEY ASKED ME IF I'LL SPEAK,I SAID IN THE END....YOU CARRY ON!!!

...IN TEA BREAK MANISHJI OF KABIR TOLD ME YOU CALLED ME UP??I NODDED AFFIRMLY...AND I DIDN'T CORRECTED HIM BY SAYING,IT WAS SNEHA WHOM I TALKED WITH!!...NEITHER I SAID ANYTHING TO MR SUBBHERAL WHEN HE INTRODUCED SELF AS DIRECTOR RURAL MANAGEMENT AND OTHER MR SHRIVASTAVA...AS DIRECTOR URBAN MANAGEMENT AS "HUMARA TOOO CHOLI-DAMAN KA SAATH HAI"....!!! AND WITH FEW OTHERS.TOLD ME IF I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THEIR PROJECT CAN DO THAT LATER.WHICH I DID AFTER LUNCH FOR FEW MINUTES AND SAID..."WE'RE GETTING LATE SO LETS GO FOR WORKSHOP."

AND BEST THING TO GET SHAWL(WHICH I DIDN;T TOOK LATER...AS I WANTED- WAY TO BE REMAIN OPEN FOR NEXT STEP,IF I HAVE TO WORK WITH THEM) IN RETURN, AND (A POT OF PLANT THAT I TOOK BACK HOME...USUALLY I DON'T)I HOPE WHERE EVER I GO,SPECIALLY U.P,HARYANA,RAJASTHAN PEOPLE SHOULDN'T ASK ME "AAP PAHLE YAHAN AAYEE THIIN???...ASK ME FOR-COFFEE/TEA OR FOOD...AND EXPECT ME NOT TO EAT. WHICH USUALLY I DON'T, IF I AM NOT WITH SUDHIRJI OR PEOPLE ARE UNKNOWN...!!!....AND THEN DO SOME DRAMA OF ...AND YOU'RE EITHER RURAL DUMB,OR IF YOU TALK KNOWLEDGEABLY LITTLE BIT THEN...YOU'RE OUT...NIKAL DIYEE JAOGE VAPIS AANE KE LIYE/OR MADAME SEND SOMEONE ELSE...i am sure people will understand that now onwards i am working for aditifoundation...so let me work in my own way..i am not compulsivly responsible of sending anyone anywhere... except who all will work with me!!

...till now many of my action was to clear the atmosphere simulateneously....i may have to clear it in future also but old chapters are closed including Mr dhoni and team...jo judd gaye hein kafile se,judde hue chalte chaleinge...saath chodd ker hattna chahein too hatt sakte hein...that's their prerogative!! one can see many ad campaign (by ministries in janhit mein jaari)on tv and radio FM regarding adolscent problems,LGBT,regarding sexual harrasments or related bad intentions...with kids..its to creat awareness amongst not only kids,adolscents,youths...(even sanskar/careeer counselling/) but in their parents also so that they keep kids aware and cautious without creating any fear and much restrictions in their life.Good to see/hear it....VIBHA)

...IT DEPENDS ON WHAT EVER IS CONTENT OF YOUR TALK COMING BACK HOME.OR ITS BETTER OPTION TO SPEAK LESS OR KEEP MUM AND COME BACK ON YOUR OWN..BUT I WAS DETERMINED TO TALK TO PEOPLE,READ THEIR MIND,LISTEN THEIR WORDS AND SOLVE THE "PUZZLE OR JINX" AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE....BEFORE START WORKING IN FIELD FULLFLEGEDLY....IT DIFFICULT TO WRITE ALL THE DETAILS!!!...AS THEY TOLD HOW RTI IS USED IN EVERYTHING,INCLUDED 'PYAAR' IN IT..WHICH IS IMPORTANT IN SOCIETY.IF ONE GET LOVE BUT NOT FOOD, ITS DIFFICULT.BUT ONE GET FOOD WITHOUT AFFECTION AND RUDLY..ONE CANNOT EAT IT.

ABOUT ROADS THAT GET BUILD UP ON PAPER BUT IS ACTUALLY IS NOT MADE SO ONE ASK QUESTION THROUGH RTI.

(UNLIKE WEST WHERE LOVE IS CONSIDERED ROMANTIC/ETERNAL OR PLATONIC -RELATIONS BETWEEN GIRL/BOY/MAN/WOMAN!!...IN OUR SOCIETY LOVE FOR ANYTHING IS LOVE...HUMANITY/MANKIND/ANIMALS/BIRDS/PRAKRITI/GOD/PARENTS/RELATIVES/KIDS/...FOR MOVIES/MATRIALISTIC THINGS/OR NOT!!

...BUT LOVE BETWEEN BOY/GIRL/MAN/WOMAN...DO NOT GET ACCEPTANCE SO EASILY!!...THAT'S WHY ONE NEED TO KEEP IT SECRET BECAUSE OF ELDERS 'LIHAAZ'...OR 'DARR'...'HONOUR KILLING' TILL THEY DECIDE TO MARRY FINALLY OR AT TIMES EVEN AFTER THAT!!!

THEY TALKED WELL ...BUT WERE SOUNDED DISTRACTED.....AS THEY TALKED ABOUT COUNTRY/SOCIETY/CHANGE/NOT BEING HYPOTHETICAL/30 MORE BILLS TO BE PASSED IN THIS SESSION OF PARLIAMENT..WHICH I CORRECTED AS 32...MENTIONED SHRUTI HASAN/MENTION ADITI(ITS OUR NGO'S NAME) WHEN I WENT TO RECIEVE THESE TOKEN GIFTS!!...TALKED ABOUT TIME MAGAZINE AND SUPER30.

HOW GREED INCREASES AS IF PEOPLE GET CHEAP AATA(FLOUR)...THEY ASK FOR MAHNGA(COSTLY) ONE-WHICH I DEFINED AS A BRAND!!!...ONE OF THEM BRACKETED AANNA HAZARE AS -"MAY BE HE IS A BIG MAN BUT WORKS FOR SMALL AREA AND COMMUNITY...!!!...OR PEOPLE DO ASKED FOR KIRAYE KA BHEED,OR THEIR KNOWNS TO GET PEOPLE,OR MAKE IT MANDATORY IN OFFICES/SCHOOL/COLLEGES TO ATTEND THE PROGRAMME WHETHER THEY HAVE ANY INTERSET IN IT OR NOT!!!...THEY DON'T BELIEVE IN THEIR OWN CHARISMA ..ETC!!!SOUNDED LIKE WHAT I HAD WRITTEN ABOUT JAN 30/11 RALLY...THESE PEOPLE HAD SOME ROLE IN 30 JAN RALLY...

IT ENDS WITH PHONE NEXT DAY TO SEND BACK SECURITY CARDS,WHICH WE TOOK BACK UNINTENTIONALLY OR "TOLD TO RAKHH LIJIYE"...AND BY REMINDING ME ...(BEING POLITE IS UNEXPECTED OF ME)!!!..SO AS..."ITS YOUR HOME AND YOU SEND SUDHIRJI(I HAD SAID HE GO THERE REGULARLY...BUT NOT JUST LIKE THAT...OR WITHOUT ANY INVITATION OR GO THEIR TO BE A MAIN SPEAKER OR A CHEIF GUEST) AS ITS MY RESPONSIBILITIES TO SEND OTHERS!!!

EVERY MINUTES PEOPLE'S THINKING AND OPINION CHANGES.THEY HAVE MANY PRECONCEIVED NOTION I THINK.ITS UPTO PEOPLE'S THINKING...BUT ONE THING IS FOR SURE(NOW I SHOULD TAKE MYSELF MORE SERIOUSLY AS PEOPLE ARE TAKING POINTS SERIOUSLY.AND AS LIFE DON'T GIVES PEOPLE SECOND CHANCES)........THERE IS A SONG OF A MOVIE--"MANO TO MEIN GANGA MA HOON,NA MANO TOO BAHTA PANNI"....WHICH MEANS HOW YOU SEE THINGS,IT CAN BE EITHER WAY!!!...SO IT UPON US IF ONE TRY TO BE HONEST AND WORK PROPERLY AND SINCERELY....!!!

...WHETHER ONE IS RICH OR POOR,DESHI OR VEDESHI,OR IS RURAL (BIHAAR STILL HAS RURAL BACKGROUND SO AS 70$ OF INDIA)...OR URBAN AS I LIVED IN DELHI SINCE 1983...LIVED IN HOSTEL FOR 3YRS...WELL IS THAT RESEMBLE TABBU OF 'HU-TU-TU'...QUITE BADMAASH???)

I REMEMBER ZEE TV'S AD CAMPAIGN "KAUN HOON MEIN,WHERE A GIRL IS CONFUSING EVERYONE BY TEACHING DANCE STEPS,OR KARATE STEPS OR FILLING CROSSWORDS PUZZLE SIMULTENEOUSLY".

ITS A MIXTURE OF ALL IN BRIEF...EVEN I CAN FEEL LIKE IT..."SAMPURN VIKAS"...WHICH HAS ALL IN ONE PERSONALITY...AND CONTEMPORARY INDIAN VALUES...MIXED OF TRADITIONAL AND MORDERNITY WITH LOGICAL THINKING AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!!!

TODAY I DO NOT HAVE ANIMOSITY WITH ANYONE.MY MISSION OF LIFE IS NOT TO COMPETE WITH ANY FAMILY MEMBER(MOMENTORY REACTIONS AND COMPETETION HAS BEEN CREATED...WHETHER I LIKE IT OR NOT..i am sure with time it may finish off/FADE AWAY) OR DO MEIN BHI-MEIN BHI...!!!...OR COPYING ANYONE BLINDLY!!!...OR FIGHT WITH THEM OR DRAG THEM IN ANY MUDSLINGING!!!...(IF I DID SO EARLIER???)....OR ANY OUTSIDER,AS THESE TU-TU,MEIN-MEIN OR ANY LOOSETALK...OR NEGATIVE FEELINGS FOR SELF/OTHERS...I HAVE CONFIDENCE THAT I HAVE OVERCOME ALL THIS...AS IT FILL ME WITH BAD TASTE WHICH I REALLY DETEST,...I HAVE PROMISED MYSELF NOT TO REPEAT IT AGAIN...IF I DID EARLIER AND LIVE LIFE MEANINGFULLY LIKE I ALWAYS DID!!!...BUT NOT INTERSETED IN FINDING SHISHYA IN ANYONE!!...I HAVE MYSELF(ADITIFOUNDATION) AND MY DAUGHTER TO GROOM!!!...MY HUSBAND TO HELP AND ELDERS IN FAMILY...TO TAKE CARE OF ALL!!!

...INCEDENTLY IN A PROCESS IF I CAN BECOME PATR OF INSPIRATION FOR ANYONE,THAT'S GODS CHOICE!!!

...NOT INTERSETED IN WATCHING TV MORE THEN WHAT I WATCH TODAY!!!

...DEFINITLY WORKING IN FIELD WILL REDUCE IT AUTOMATICALLY!!

....NOT INTERESTED IN DISCREDITING SELF OR GIVING ALL THE CREDITS TO OTHERS ANYMORE

...OR DIRECTING/DEVIATING ANYTHING NOWONWAEDS

...WHAT WE ARE DOING WILL WE HAVE DONE IT.

AND I HOPE I AM ABLE TO WASH ANY KALANK/DAAG OR "CHIINTAA" GOT INTO FAMILY MEMBERS OF BOTH SIDES OR FRIENDS BY NOW.NOW WE ALL NEED TO SPEAK CAREFULLY AND DO NOT SAY "YES OR NO" BLINDLY WATCHING "FICTION" OR UNDERSTAND HOW THINGS HAPPENING SO THAT GET POSITIVITY OUT OF IT AND LEARNING INGREDIANTS, OTHER THEN ONLY ENTERTAINMENT.

AND PLEASE DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE ME AND CHINU OR ANYONE....WITHOUT ANY REASON.IT APPLIES ON OUTSIDERS AS WELL AS IT IS A COLLECTIVE RESPONSIBILITY AND PUTTING CHARGES WHICH GIVE MENTAL STRESS,EMOTIONAL STRESS,CRIMINAL CHARGES...CORRUPTION CHARGES ETC...CAREER SETBACK UNNECCESSARY...ONE NEED TO THINK,BEFORE THEY SPEAK.

....I WANT TO WORK ON OBJECTIVES I HAVE PREPARED AND MUCH MORE IS THEIR IN MY MIND,WHICH IS YET TO COME OUT...FOR RURAL/URBAN PEOPLE(TO BRIDGE IT AND NOT TO CREATE DIVIDE WITHOUT INTERFERING IN ANYONE'S LIFE...I HOPE KNOW THING WILL WORK IN A RIGHT WAY.) ...AS IT CAN APPLIES ON EVERYONE IN A SAME WAY WHETHER ONE LIKE IT OR NOT...IT WILL LINK WITH EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE.GOOD TO SEE EVERYONE STARTED TALKING ABOUT ISSUES FIRMLY AND IN A BALANCED WAY WITH BROADER PERSPECTIVE...ON TV I CAN SEE OR READ IN NEWSPAPERS..ETC.ITS A GOOD SIGN AND I CAN TAKE CREDIT FOR IT ATLEAST AFTER SO MUCH OF CRITICISM.ITS ANOTHER POINT THAT PEOPLE DO RECOGNIZE ME LIKE BEFORE AND ASK QUESTION WHICH NOW IF POSSIBLE I DO REPLY...EARLIER I DIDN'T...THEN EVEN I WAS CONFUSED,NOW 100% SURE THOUGH CAN'T SAY HOW THINGS WILL SHAPE UP IN FUTURE.

WORKING IN A NEIGHBOURHOOD PROJECT IS ALWAYS RIGHT WAY TO BEGIN, BUT ONE CANNOT RESTRICT SELF TO ONLY ONE LOCALITY OR COMMUNITY WHOLE LIFE...OPTION FOR BROADER AREA IS ALWAYS THERE..ITS OPEN ACCORDING TO PROGRESS IN OUR WORK.I MAY NOT HAVE BIG DEGREES ACCORDING TO IT,BUT WHOLE LIFE HAS GOT OPPORTUNITIES TO WORK WITH PEOPLE WHO HAS DONE CREDIBLE WORK IN JOURNALISM/SOCIAL SERVICE....INCLUDING SUDHIRJI.